


How the F*ck?

by StephaniD



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/F, Let Seven say fuck, Pre-Relationship, let Seven of Nine say fuck, let b'elanna say fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:13:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27354778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StephaniD/pseuds/StephaniD
Summary: Seven of Nine wishes to learn how to use swear words. Logically, B'elanna Torres would be a good person to ask for help. Now what the fuck are her feelings doing? (rated teen for swearing lol)
Relationships: Seven of Nine/B'Elanna Torres
Comments: 17
Kudos: 45





	How the F*ck?

"Torres." Seven of Nine announced her presence to the chief engineer, currently under a workstation. She heard a bang as the woman's head hit the underside of the workstation in surprise. 

"Ow! Dammit, Seven!" Torres crawled out. "Give me some warning next time." 

"I was attempting to." Seven of Nine frowned at her lack of success. "Please explain that word, it is unfamiliar to me." 

"What word?" Torres asked. 

"Dammit." Seven of Nine repeated.

“Don’t the Borg know about swear words?”

“As a category, yes, but not in practice. Swear words are commonly used as intensity modifiers or as slang of an act or item that is considered offensive.” Seven of Nine summarized as she gave Torres the padd she’d been working on.

“The computer can probably teach you about swear words better than I can. Thanks for the info.” Torres turned back to her work. Seven of Nine filed the word away for further study later. 

**Word/phrase: Damn (it)**  
**Quote: Damn it, Seven!**  
**Speaker: B'elanna Torres**  
**Relevant context: Surprise, pain**

**Computer definition: originally from the phrase 'damn it to hell' from Human religion Christianity, damnation was the sending of a person to the religion's unwanted afterlife, where they believed they would be tortured for eternity. Primarily used to express frustration.**

Seven of Nine saved the file. As had become common, the computer's definition of a thing she was confused or curious about seemed to fall short. She decided the best way to learn about swear words was to observe. Though collecting data may take time, she hadn't observed anyone using swear words until B'elanna Torres that afternoon. Although, she hadn't been in many situations to hear swear words. She tended to avoid large groups of crewmen, especially jocular or boisterous ones, especially off-duty. Perhaps she should spend more time in places like the mess hall, where crewmen gathered. 

Seven of Nine accepted a bowl of oatmeal from Neelix. She preferred the same texture throughout and lack of strong flavor to something with different textures and strong flavors like an omelette. 

"So, it turns out a death sentence and burial isn't usually part of playing doctor." Paris concluded a story. 

"Yeah, no shit." Kim chuckled, sitting across the table from Paris. 

"May I join you?" Seven of Nine asked. 

"Oh, uh, Seven, sure, here." Paris replied. Both men moved their plates to make room for her, and Paris got an empty chair from a nearby table for her to sit on. "What's the occasion?" He asked. 

"Ensign Kim, a question." She looked to him. 

"Go ahead." He nodded. Paris continued his breakfast. 

"Please explain the word 'shit'." Seven of Nine requested. Paris spat his beverage out and began to laugh. "I fail to see the humor." She frowned. "I am attempting to learn about swear words and the computer definition is lacking." 

"Okay, so, uh, generally the word refers to, uh-" 

"Fecal matter, I am aware." She informed him. "I am inquiring about this specific context." She ignored Paris calming down and resuming his breakfast.

“Right, uh, well, sorry, I don’t quite remember what I said.” Kim replied.

“Please elaborate on the phrase ‘yeah, no shit’.” Seven continued to ignore Paris as he laughed again. 

"Uh, it means like 'no duh'." Kim explained. 

"I am not familiar with that phrase." Seven of Nine replied. 

"Like 'of course'." He tried again. 

"I see. How does 'no shit' translate to 'of course'?" 

"I can't really explain it, sorry Seven. It's not logical." 

"Naomi's here." Paris alerted them. "Seven, you know not to say swear words around her, right?" 

"While I do not understand why certain words are considered limited to a certain age, I do not wish to displease Ensign Wildman, and will refrain from all words considered swear words when Naomi Wildman is present." Seven of Nine assured. 

**Word/phrase: Shit**  
**Quote: Yeah, no shit.**  
**Speaker: Harold Kim**  
**Relevant context: Humor, obvious information**

**Computer definition: slang for fecal matter.**

A few weeks later Seven had added more swear words to her list, and had learned that their special status allowed one to express frustration and pain in order to lessen the feeling. She was attempting to show B'elanna Torres and Captain Janeway something in Astrometrics, but the computer was not following her instructions. 

"What the damn." Seven of Nine muttered as she tried to fix the problem. She still felt the same amount of frustration. 

"I'm sorry?" Captain Janeway asked. "Could you repeat that?" 

"I said 'what the damn', Captain." Seven of Nine responded clearly. She looked up to see Captain Janeway frowning at her and Torres covering her own mouth. 

"Seven, would you like to explain that?" Janeway asked in the tone of voice that meant a command instead of a question. 

"I have been attempting to learn more about swear words, Captain, and heard the hypothesis that they alleviate feelings of frustration. It does not appear to be the case for me." 

"And nowhere in your studies did you consider that you shouldn't swear in front of the captain?" Janeway asked. Seven of Nine frowned. 

"No, I see no reason why not, you are not a child." 

"It's considered unprofessional to swear at work, Seven, especially around those of a higher rank." Janeway explained with a sigh. 

"I see. I am not in Starfleet and therefore have no rank." Seven of Nine observed. 

"Please try not to swear at work. B'elanna, the two of you get this working." Janeway commanded and left. The two women started working on fixing the computer workstation. 

"You can't say 'what the damn', by the way." B'elanna Torres stated. 

"Why?" Seven of Nine asked. She had come to accept that her coworkers would make conversation while working. At least this conversation was of interest to her. 

"It's not how the words work. 'Damn' isn't one of the words that fits after 'what the'." B'elanna Torres explained. 

"Why?" 

"I don't know, Seven, it just doesn't. If you want to swear, stick to phrases you've heard others say. Pass me that interlock, would you?" 

"What are the swear words that fit after 'what the'?" Seven of Nine inquired as she handed the tool to the chief engineer. 

"Let me think. 'What the fuck' is a classic, you can put fuck just about anywhere, make it mean anything you want. 'What the shit' is more like an actual question, asking for clarification. 'What the hell' is usually for frustration, it's pretty tame, but you should still not say it around Naomi or Janeway. I think that's all of them." 

"This relay is faulty. Why is swearing during a duty shift discouraged?" 

"It's seen as unprofessional and disrespectful, and don't ask me why." B'elanna Torres cut off Seven of Nine about to ask why. "I don't know why certain words are swear words, I don't know why certain swear words work in certain phrases, I don't know why you're not supposed to swear at work." B'elanna Torres sighed. "All I can tell you is which words are swears, how to use them, and not to use them at work." 

"Are you volunteering to tutor me in swearing?" Seven of Nine confirmed. B'elanna Torres stared at her for a second, then chuckled. 

"I guess I did. Fuck it, sure, Seven. I'll explain whatever you want as soon as we get Astrometrics working." 

"Astrometrics is functioning properly." Seven of Nine stated a half hour later as they put the workstation back together and returned their tools to their places. 

"I can see that." B'elanna replied. 

"I have questions about swearing." Seven of Nine continued. 

"Of course you do." B'elanna sighed. "Go ahead." 

"If we are not supposed to swear during a duty shift, why do you?" 

"I trust you've noticed I'm a fairly temperamental person. Swearing helps me not punch people. And I do try not to do it at work." B'elanna answered. 

"I have heard you swear at work on multiple occasions." Seven of Nine frowned. 

"Yes, well, you frustrate me a lot of the time." 

"I see. I appreciate your tolerating my questions, it is…" she searched for the right word, "admirable to choose to help someone whose company you don't enjoy." 

"Okay, Seven." B'elanna looked uncomfortable and turned away to check her tools. 

"I have another question." Seven of Nine drew her attention again. "Earlier, you said 'fuck it'. Please explain." 

"'Fuck it' is-" B'elanna sighed. "In this context it means I'm going to ignore my knowledge that this action may be inadvisable, and do it anyway." 

"What does it mean in other contexts?" 

"The only other context that comes to mind is dismissal. Like, if I broke a hyperspanner but had a spare, I might say 'fuck it' about the broken one, I wouldn't care too much about it breaking since it wouldn't affect me very much. But as I said before, 'fuck' is a very versatile swear word." B'elanna explained. 

"Yes, I have heard it in many contexts and combinations. As adjective, adverb, verb, intensity modifier…" Seven of Nine listed. "The crew has all been surprisingly helpful in attempting to explain swear words to me." 

"Seven, you're part of the crew, too." B'elanna reminded her softly. 

"I am aware." Seven of Nine replied as she updated her already large definition of 'fuck' to include the new example. 

She still didn't really feel like part of the crew though, she struggled to relate to others, to find things to talk about, to spend time among so many other people, to sit with such poor posture as the others. She still greatly preferred talking to others about work, in limited numbers. Her study of swear words helped her have another topic of discussion to talk about with others, and the crew did seem less hesitant to talk to her since she had begun asking for their assistance. B'elanna especially seemed less annoyed and more humored by her presence. 

"I have a question about swearing." Seven of Nine stated one morning in the mess hall, standing next to the table B'elanna was seated at. B'elanna gestured for her to take the empty chair, mouth full of pancakes. She did so. "I have heard that once one understands and becomes comfortable with swear words, incorporating them into one's vocabulary becomes less planned and more spontaneous." 

"Pretty much." B'elanna replied. 

"If that is the case, how does everyone refrain from swearing at work?" 

"Well you still think about what you're going to say before you say it. In most cases, people manage to stop themselves before saying the whole swear word. And at work, you're aware that there is a different behavior expectation than other times, and your brain can compensate. It's like, imagine you weren't supposed to call the holodecks 'the holodecks' while on shift. You'd find other ways to get your point across." Seven of Nine didn't see why she would be disallowed from referring to the holodecks as such, but easily came up with at least two other ways to refer to the rooms. 

"I can think of multiple ways to do so." She agreed. 

"So when you know you're not supposed to say certain things, you can generally manage to do so." 

"I have heard you fail to stop a swear word at work on multiple occasions." Seven of Nine pointed out. “I have heard you say ‘damn’ and ‘hell’ during duty shifts.” One of those was the catalyst for her current project. 

"Yes, well, those were occasions where Janeway wasn't around." B'elanna explained. 

“I have heard this theory before, from Lieutenant Paris.” Seven of Nine remarked. 

“What theory?” B’elanna asked, taking another bite of her pancakes. 

“You are only in trouble if you get caught.” Seven of Nine replied. B’elanna smiled. 

“Anyway, you’re always careful with what you say, so I wouldn’t worry about it too much.” 

“Thank you for your reassurance. May I ask a question unrelated to our current topic?”

“Shoot.” 

“Is the texture of pancakes similar to oatmeal?” Seven of Nine asked, waiting as B’elanna frowned at her, then at the plate of pancakes. B’elanna cut another bite of pancake, then held the fork out to Seven of Nine. 

“Just try it, Seven, that’s the best way to know if you like it.” B’elanna stated. 

“The ingredients are flour, butter, chicken egg-” Seven of Nine began to ask.  
“They’re banana pancakes.” B’elanna interrupted. “They’re kind of dry, kind of like thick cake, and they taste like bananas.” She explained, though her tone was flat. Seven of Nine took the fork and tried banana pancakes. As B’elanna had said, the texture was that of a thick cake, not as dry as cake, likely due to the presence of banana, which gave the pancakes a slight, not overwhelming flavor. “Well?” B’elanna asked. 

"It is acceptable. Due to the lack of nutritional content, I may consider it as an occasional addition to my oatmeal." 

"Acceptable." B'elanna repeated in a scoff, Seven of Nine was about to respond when B'elanna continued. "You need to recalibrate your taste buds, banana pancakes are delicious." She smiled and took another bite while Seven of Nine considered her words and manner. 

"You are teasing." Seven of Nine concluded. 

"Mmhmm." 

"If banana pancakes are so delicious, why have I never seen you eat them before?" Seven of Nine inquired. 

"Jeez Seven, you remember everything people eat?" B'elanna didn't give her time to answer. "Banana pancakes are my favorite, so I save them for special occasions." 

"May I ask what the special occasion is today?" Seven of Nine knew that it was not a birthday, that would be celebrated by the whole crew. 

"I finally got off-shift after 14 hours." 

"I apologise for taking up your time." Seven of Nine said as she stood. "I was unaware that you need sleep. Your health is paramount." 

"Hey, Seven." B'elanna stopped her as she turned to leave. "I just want to let you know that if you happen to swear around me, I won't tell Janeway." 

"Thank you. I hope your sleep is restful." Seven of Nine left the mess hall, pondering B'elanna's words. Why would B'elanna encourage her to do something she was already doing? Unless B'elanna wanted her to do it more often? Did B'elanna want to test the theory of Seven of Nine being able to stop herself before swearing in front of those she shouldn't? Did B'elanna have that much confidence in her? 

Seven of Nine entered Astrometrics and realized that in her concern and preoccupation with B'elanna, she had forgotten to eat breakfast before leaving the mess hall. It was too late to return now, she mentally adjusted the caloric intake she would require for lunch in order to compensate. Was this a situation where swearing would be appropriate? Based on her research, such a minor inconvenience could be responded to with multiple swear words. Damn, shit, and hell would fit. Bitch would be grammatically incorrect since it had no target. Fuck would likely be considered too intense for the situation. Though B'elanna had told her that fuck could be used in a dismissive manner, and the examples given at the time were incredibly inconsequential, of much less importance than Seven of Nine accidentally missing her morning meal. Perhaps fuck could be appropriate in this instance. Seven of Nine wanted to discuss this with B'elanna, but she was on-shift and B’elanna was in need of sleep. She could not discuss this query with anyone until her shift was over, at the earliest. She made a note on a personal padd. 

Seven of Nine entered Sickbay. 

“Please state the nature of the medical emergency.” The doctor greeted. 

“It is not an emergency, and I am uncertain as to its nature.” Seven replied. The doctor frowned. 

“What symptoms are you experiencing?” He asked as he scanned her with a tricorder. 

“Wandering thoughts, accompanying forgetfulness, elevated heart rate.” Seven of Nine responded. 

“Well, there’s nothing wrong with you that the tricorder can find. Could this be Borg-related?” The doctor asked. 

“I am uncertain. There has been no note of Borg activity in this region of space, and if my internal Borg components were malfunctioning, there would be a reason why. And it would likely be detectable by the tricorder.” 

“Still, it might be worth discussing with B’elanna Torres. I’m afraid I can’t do any more to help.” Seven thought of B’elanna scanning her, perhaps examining her ocular implant closely, close enough that Seven would be able to see the true brown color of her dark irises. 

“It is occurring again. Now.” She informed the doctor. He immediately began another scan. 

“I am noting a slightly elevated heart rate, but not enough to be worrying, and nothing that would cause it. You said you’ve been having wandering thoughts, have they been about any one subject?”

“Yes. B’elanna Torres.” 

“What manner are these thoughts?”

“Concern over her wellbeing. Worry about what she thinks of me. Preoccupation about when and where our duty shifts may align.” Seven of Nine listed. 

“Ah, I think I know what the problem is.” The doctor smiled. “Seven, I diagnose you with your first crush.” 

“Please explain.” 

“A crush is when one person likes another in a romantic manner, and is unsure about how the other person feels about them.” 

“I see. It is not ideal, how do I stop it?” 

“Well, you could ask Ms. Torres how she feels about you.” The doctor suggested. “Aside from that, I think Tuvok would be your best bet at advice about training your thoughts.” 

“Thank you Doctor.” She headed to the Vulcan’s quarters. No matter how she and B’elanna felt about each other, it could not interfere with her work. 

“Seven. What is the problem?” Tuvok greeted. 

“The doctor informed me that you may be able to help me train my thoughts.” Seven of Nine replied.

“We can try. Please come in, have a seat.” They sat on his couch. “Speaking as the chief security officer, should I be concerned about the thoughts you’re having?” 

“No. The doctor believes I have a crush, and I do not want it to impact my work.” She explained. 

“Vulcan meditation techniques may be able to help.” Tuvok replied. Seven of Nine appreciated the man’s straightforward manner of communication. Who Seven of Nine had a crush on did not affect Tuvok or the meditation techniques he would attempt to teach her, so they did not discuss it. 

“B’elanna Torres.” Seven of Nine stopped her in a corridor the next day. “I have something I would like to discuss with you. Off-duty. Would you be open to having dinner with me this evening?” 

“Sure, Seven.” B’elanna smiled slightly. “Meet in the mess hall at 1930?” 

“I would prefer if we were alone.” 

“Do you have somewhere to sit and eat in your cargo bay?”

“I do not.” Seven frowned. “I can request time in a holosuite.” 

“Don’t bother, just come over to my quarters at about 1930.” 

“I will do so.” Seven nodded. 

“See ya tonight.” B’elanna continued down the corridor. Seven of Nine stepped into an empty room to try and calm her thoughts and heartrate. 

Seven of Nine hit the chime for B’elanna’s door at 1929. The door opened. 

“Hey, Seven, come in.” B’elanna had removed her outermost uniform shirt, and was simply in the high-collared light purple shirt. “Replicator’s here.” She ordered food and sat at the small table. “So what did you want to talk about?” Seven of Nine ordered one of her most common meals and sat as well. 

“Yesterday I went to Sick Bay with minor, but inexplicable symptoms.” Seven of Nine replied. B’elanna frowned at her. “The doctor’s tricorder could not find anything, but when I explained what I had been experiencing in more detail, he determined the cause.” 

“Well, are you okay?” B’elanna asked impatiently. 

“My primary symptoms are distracted thoughts and elevated heart rate. I find myself anticipating spending time with you. I am anxious that you enjoy our time together, and do not think poorly of me. I find myself thinking about you when I should be charting interstellar phenomena. I react to thoughts of us being in close proximity with a measurably higher heart rate-” 

“Seven, are you trying to tell me you like me?” B’elanna’s mouth was smiling somewhat, but her brows were furrowed. Seven of Nine nodded. 

“The doctor diagnosed me with a crush.” She informed the other woman, who dropped her silverware to cover her face, shoulders shaking. “B’elanna? Are you alright?” She asked, concerned. 

“Fuck, Seven.” B’elanna laughed. “That took you long enough to say. You went to the doctor?” 

“Yes, I had never experienced those symptoms in that combination before.” 

“That’s fair.” B’elanna chuckled. “I like you, too. I don’t share my pancakes with just anyone. Did you want to go on a date?” Seven considered. “Oh, um, a date is when-” B’elanna started to explain. 

“I am aware.” Seven assured. “I think that would be… enjoyable.” 

“Good.” B’elanna smiled. 

“I have a question.” 

“Shoot.” 

“In what manner did you mean ‘fuck’ earlier?” Seven asked. B’elanna started to laugh again.


End file.
